My yard rocks!: a pictographic

I'm not a seasoned gardener, so stop me if everyone has this same problem: I've got rocks.  Lots of rocks.  Lots and lots of rocks.  Really a ridiculous number of rocks.  I cannot dig a hole in my yard without hitting at least 10 rocks in the process.  These are really nice rocks, too.  Some people pay good money to actually buy this type of rock, which is one of my clues that not everyone has the same rock problem I do.  

My rocks are river rocks.  Nice and smooth and gray.  Pretty rocks, as rocks go.  Several are almost perfect spheres.  Some are very flat, like skipping stones.  I don't have anywhere to skip them, but I totally could if there were a lake in my yard.  I could get at least four skips outta some of those rocks.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that the reason I dislike the rocks is not their appearance, in case you were thinking I was that shallow.  Which I'm not.  I even hate beautiful rocks, see.  I'm very open to different reasons to hate rocks.

Now to the pictographic part.  Note: this is not a page for foot fetishists.  The appearance of my feet in the photos is only for size comparison purposes.  I wear a size 8 1/2 shoe, if that helps to further illustrate the size of the rocks.

Above is a photo of the rocks overturned in one shovel-full of dirt.  Sorry about the condition of my toenail polish.  Also, I realize I do not have a super attractive foot, but whaddaya gonna do?

 

Above is a photo of the hole I dug last night and the rocks yielded by just that one hole.  It almost looks like the rocks would fill up the entire hole, eh?  But I included the pile of dirt showing that, in fact, there was something other than rocks in the hole.  This photo is not doctored.  The rock pile was not augmented by previously-unearthed rocks.  No sirree, each and every one of those rocks was dug out of that there hole.  See the scratch marks from the shovel on that one rock?  Those are its battle scars.  It messed with me, and I won.  See that, you other rocks?  Do ya?  Mess wit me an' I'll mess you UP!

 

Here's another shot of the hole and the rocks that came out of it, along with the plant (a dwarf rhodie) that was going into the hole.  See how the plant lightly mocks the rocks?  "Out with tha old, in with tha new, yo!" says the plant, while the rocks reply, "What-EVAH.  We rock, man.  Cuz we're ROCKS, see."

Yeah, I'm totally not up on the lingo, yo.  I do know enough to end everything with "yo," though.  I'm pretty sure that's the way to sound authentic.  Yo.

 

Above is another foot/rock comparison shot.  Now that you see the rocks close up (albeit blurry...I was trying not to trip over the rocks and fall into the hole), you get a better idea of just how much fun it is to try to dig a hole in my yard.  

On a positive note, it's a good workout.  Not that you can tell from my big fat leg, but still.  Lots of sweating going on whilst excavating the yard.  

Maybe at a later date, I will include photos of my flowerbeds, so you can see that all the excavation was not done in vain.  But it's not quite ready yet.  I need a bird bath, yo.

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all rocks © April's yard, 2006