Election Year Blues: please, please, for the love of God, leave me alone!

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Maybe a few less chemicals, Chemical Romance?

I've heard the Chemical Romance song "The Black Parade" approximately 48,560 times in the last week, and I am displeased.

First of all, you have the plinkety-plonk happy-little-bluebird melody of the song's beginning, complete with hesitant, emotional creak-voice by the lead singer. Aww, so angsty. So "jump me, girls; I'm ever-so-sensitive and beautifully damaged."

And the melody? Excuse me, but I've already experienced 1983. Could we have something new, please? Thanks, that'd be great.

Now let's explore the lyrics:

"When I was a young boy,
my father took me into the city
to see a marching band."

Aww, that's sweet. My father took me to see marching bands when I was a kid, too. Going on:

"He said, 'Son, when you grow up,
will you be the saviour of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?'
He said, 'Will you defeat them, your demons,
and all the non believers,
the plans that they have made?
Because one day I leave you,
a phantom to lead you in the summer,
to join the black parade.'"

Okay, what with the who now? When my dad took me to see the marching bands, he may have said something like, "Oh, man, see how the trumpets are out of formation there?" He would not have said, "Will you be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned?" Because if he had, I would've asked him if he was on the drugs. I mean, my God, what kind of father IS this? Is he out on a day pass from the institution?

Moving along:

"Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go.
Through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
When you're gone we want you all to know
We'll Carry on,
We'll Carry on
Though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
Carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I can't contain it
The anthem won't explain it."

Dude, the anthem doesn't explain a lot of things. Like who "she" is, for instance. Your dead mother, perhaps? Killed by your psychotic dad? And, regardless, I can't help but think you're overdramatizing the situation a bit. I mean, just because your mom's dead, that doesn't mean you have to wade through bodies in the street over it. Just step around them like everyone else does.

Continuing:

"And we will send you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Let's shout it loud and clear
Do you fight it to the end
We hear the call to
To carry on
We'll carry on
Though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches on..."

Let's clear this up right off the bat: "decimated" means diminished by 10%. I don't know about you, Chemical Romance, but I'm not too put out if my dreams get decimated. Perhaps I have more dreams than you do, and can afford to lose 10% of them. Perhaps you only have one dream, so if you lose 10% of it, it won't make sense; like, you lose the end or something, and then you're all, "Oh, man, what happened?" I can see where that might be annoying. And yet not as annoying as YOUR STUPID DERIVATIVE SONG.

Yeah, so, maybe my misery and hate of your song will kill you all. If so, I sincerely apologize for that, but...dude. Duuuuude. It is so unoriginal that I wouldn't have even known it was a new song had the radio guy not announced it.

Oh, and also? If you paint it black, there's no way they're taking it back. Even Walmart isn't that lenient. And the...weary widow? I just don't...yeah, I don't think a song where every line is a non sequitur is deep so much as it is weak and poorly plotted.

And that's about all I can say about this song. I can't carry on, I can't carry ah-ah-ahhhhhhn...ad nauseam.

Love,
April

this article by April Palleria, 2006